I have no idea if I have ADHD, but I certainly have "presented" that way for my entire life.
I dropped out of high school after moving from private to public, since it was utterly worthless and a waste of my time. I logically knew I could just stick it out another 2 years and party, but I literally could not force myself to wake up to do it. I contemplated suicide over this, so it's not something I was taking lightly at the time or not caring about. I ended up just taking the GED one day on a whim.
Then I went on to have a somewhat successful career. It took me years to realize/internalize I'm not just lazy - something is different about me. Very few folks in my peer group could keep up with my work ethic once I found things I was interested in. For me this doesn't mean I only do the "fun stuff" - it means I need to see results of my effort, and those results need to be meaningful. I also need to work on things with a definitive "end" to them - not a never-ending project that won't see a single real-world result for years.
I describe it to folks that I am literally allergic to busy-work. You could offer me a million dollars to do some busy-work task for a month and I already know I'd fail at it before I started.
If the consequences or rewards are large and immediate enough you can kind of "push through" it - but if it's some concept of a future consequence or reward the brain simply decides it does not care.
This is all pretty difficult to nail down I think because I'm simply describing what other folks have certainly felt to some degree. The difference is I don't know many folks who will trade weeks of mental anguish and lots of money to avoid doing a 30 minute task.
That said, lazy often looks pretty damn similar and it's easy to have an excuse on hand.
> For me this doesn't mean I only do the "fun stuff" - it means I need to see results of my effort, and those results need to be meaningful.
You nailed it here - anticipation for results is one of the greatest motivations I can have. If it's not there, things get really hard. I don't think it can be sufficient on its own, but it sure needs to be there.
That said - some kinds of what's essentially busy-work can be pretty rewarding in this regard too. There were periods where I caught myself doing plenty of non-creative and rather trivial distro packaging at work just because it was providing me with a quick feedback loop. It wasn't interesting or challenging, but a meaningful chunk of work could be completed before I got bored and seeing it done was rewarding enough to keep going.
I dropped out of high school after moving from private to public, since it was utterly worthless and a waste of my time. I logically knew I could just stick it out another 2 years and party, but I literally could not force myself to wake up to do it. I contemplated suicide over this, so it's not something I was taking lightly at the time or not caring about. I ended up just taking the GED one day on a whim.
Then I went on to have a somewhat successful career. It took me years to realize/internalize I'm not just lazy - something is different about me. Very few folks in my peer group could keep up with my work ethic once I found things I was interested in. For me this doesn't mean I only do the "fun stuff" - it means I need to see results of my effort, and those results need to be meaningful. I also need to work on things with a definitive "end" to them - not a never-ending project that won't see a single real-world result for years.
I describe it to folks that I am literally allergic to busy-work. You could offer me a million dollars to do some busy-work task for a month and I already know I'd fail at it before I started.
If the consequences or rewards are large and immediate enough you can kind of "push through" it - but if it's some concept of a future consequence or reward the brain simply decides it does not care.
This is all pretty difficult to nail down I think because I'm simply describing what other folks have certainly felt to some degree. The difference is I don't know many folks who will trade weeks of mental anguish and lots of money to avoid doing a 30 minute task.
That said, lazy often looks pretty damn similar and it's easy to have an excuse on hand.